THE GARDEN OF EVE, MY VERSION.

And then God said: This is really boring. I need to create something more exciting, something that does not act by instinct only. Something that eventually will develop into a free thinking being and does not need my supervision.

So, after deep self deliberation, he created Adam and Eve. These two were happy-go-lucky creatures, eating from the trees and the earth, and drinking from the rain, lakes and rivers. they had no need for clothes because they did not know yet about that and besides because fashion had not yet been invented.

Therefore, they roamed along their unfenced garden totally nude. Adam with his two lower bouncing and hanging protruding attachments ; and Eve with also her two, upper, eventually also hanging rounded assets (or liabilities).

Then one day God noticed that Adam and Eve were getting tired of each other and came up with a solution. It was not going to be a simple one as he decided that this would happen as as chain of events, kind of a suspense movie of Hitchcock proportions.

Thus, he brought into the picture a snake. a talking snake. A very conniving snake. This reptile started the ball rolling by offering an apple to Adam. That fruit contained Capital Sins, such as Lust, Envy and Greed, among others.

Adam fell for it. He took a bite of the apple...and...Shazam! There he was instantaneously staring at Eve's proportions and curves. The rest we all know.

What we did not know is why God, who had given names to these two human beings, neglected to assign one to the snake. But if you remember, the snake was actually the devil, disguised, of course. So God opted to leave the chore of naming the snake to Satan himself.

Satan, who also exercised his influence to write his own rebuttal of the Bible, waited 2007 years after the birth of Christ to assign a name to the snake. He had to be sure that he would not make a mistake and that he was choosing the most appropriate name for it. That is why it took him such a long time. But it was worth the wait, especially because the snake is still alive.

He named the snake...ANN COULTER.

And now we know for sure that God had nothing to do with it.


Note by the writer: You skinny bonny legs, bleached hair, unpleasant voice, frustrated snake, we finally know who you really are. You, in spite of the arrogance you display to hide that inferiority complex, you are that SNAKE!